Author’s Note: This is a Take Ten to Write story and has not been proofread for errors. If I feel inspired or if there’s interest in the story, I’ll post a revised, edited, and extended version at a later date. Happy reading!
He screams, the piercing cry echoing around the walls. Clutching his head, his fingers pull at his hair. Another heartbreaking scream. Then, actual words.
“Please, please, make it stop!”
A single sentence. That’s all he’s able to get out before he dissolves into madness once again.
More screaming. More hair pulling. Then, he turns on me.
His eyes narrow, black and unseeing. He doesn’t know who I am. He doesn’t recognize his own brother.
His lips pull back in a snarl as he fixes me in his gaze. Drool drips from his lips, mixing with the blood on his chin. His fingers curl into claws as he runs at me.
I grab his wrists as he throws himself at me, desperately trying to hold him down. He snaps at me, spit and blood flying into my eyes. Still, I hold on. He’s my brother, not a monster. Not a monster.
Suddenly, he goes limp. His eyes clear as he stares up at me.
“Please,” he whispers. “Please, Alfie, make it stop.”
Then the darkness takes over again. His mouth opens in a scream, making my ears ring. I fall backward, my hands flailing as his wrists slip from my grasp.
He launches himself at me, hands around my throat, fingernails digging into my neck. Another scream.
Even though he’s killing me, my heart aches for him. What kind of little brother am I, letting him become this? Allowing the madness to get so bad?
As I gasp for air, I make a decision. He told me what he wanted. It’s my job as his brother to fulfill his last wish.
My trembling fingers reach for my knife in my belt. Slowly, I pull it free. My consciousness is starting to slip from me. It’s now or never.
In a single, jerky movement, I slam my blade sideways. His eyes widen and he freezes before he topples from my body, taking my knife with him. I gasp for air, coughing at the sudden release of pressure.
“A… Al… fie…”
I turn slowly, my heart heavy, to see him staring at me. His eyes have returned to their bright blue, all signs of the madness gone.
“Thank… you…” he breathes as his eyes slide shut.
Final Comments: I wish I’d put more inner monologue into this one since it’s written in first person. I think that I need to work on balancing the amount of inner thoughts with the action to keep good pacing, especially with high-tension and action scenes.
Overall Rating: 🤔
