“Family Treasure”

Author’s Note: This is a Take Ten to Write story and has not been proofread for errors. If I feel inspired or if there’s interest in the story, I’ll post a revised, edited, and extended version at a later date. Happy reading!

Prompt: “Three friends look for treasure to learn about their ancestors.” — suggested by Mary

“It should be just through here,” Katie said, pushing her way through the vines.

“We’ve been walking for ages,” Sarah whined, dragging her feet. “Can’t we just take a short break?”

Katie rolled her eyes. “We’ve already taken three ‘short breaks’ and we’ve only been hiking for an hour. You can survive for a few more minutes.”

Sarah let out an overly dramatic sigh–at least, it sounded overly dramatic to Katie. Still, Sarah trudged on.

Finally, they broke out of the thick forest undergrowth.

“Wow,” Katie breathed, eyes wide as she stared up at their discovery.

“It’s just a cave,” Sarah said flatly. She let out a squeal as a bat fluttered out of the darkness and past them.

Katie laughed at her sister’s half-disgusted, half-embarrassed expression.

“Come on,” she said, “Grandma said that we need to go though the cave.”

“I still don’t get why we had to come here to do this,” Sarah muttered, peering into the darkness.

“I thought you were excited to find our family’s treasure.”

“That was before I knew we were going to have to hike through the jungle and a cave the find it!”

Final Comments: I completely forgot that there were supposed to be 3 characters! Oh well… I think I need to practice writing in third person more; it doesn’t really feel as natural as writing in first and I think I’m missing out on a lot of great description opportunities.

Overall Rating: 😕